I’m struggling to make my tide change this month, its has been such an emotional time for me, my mom almost died twice, at least that is what my sister says. It was hard to see my mom helpless, with tubes in her nose to feed her, and a tube in her mouth to feed her lungs. I have mad family issues, they say tragedies  makes families come closer, not mind, if anything I think there is more distance now. I have become more of a dick in some eyes,due to the fact I am unwavering in my effort at life, I care and it messes with me, but not enough to change the truth. The truth is she needs to be around people who truly give a shit about her well-being, not he ones that mooch off her for their own well-being, and have been the major cause of her stress for so many years. My story isn’t any different from any other ghetto tale, mom has kids, kids do drugs, produce offspring in the mist of the addiction, grandmother (MOM) raises kids to the best of her ability, kids grow up not knowing what the don’t know, live a life lesser than what it could be, grow comfortable with situation, cycle continues, anyone reading this knows the story.

There’s me, not perfect, has kids young, goes off to college, doesn’t finish, can’t get over upbringing and the law for child support. Life has been a living hell for many years. Finally runs across a man who gives him a chance, actually teach  him a trade without him knowing. In the process life opens up, got my first taste of success in Costa Mesa.  Long story short, now I have a wife, we have 3 children together, we own a home, have our own business, both have careers. I have the life I never knew was possible, and I want to share it with my mother, who live 6 hours away. I know I can provide something good stress free time in her “golden years”. With the time she has remaining, as of late as I mentioned she hasn’t been doing well, but she is stuck, she has what I like to call “Limited life syndrome”. She grew up a different time. The options that are presented to me, she didn’t have. My biggest challenge is bridging the gap. I believe she doesn’t believe she deserves more. I don’t know how to just let it be.

I’m not lucky or any of that shit! As for the  “I need to say something about him to make myself feel better ass shit”, come over here and “fail” with me sometime, I bet you’ll think different. No one has ever said it would be easy, and I respect it 100. I now know what it takes, bust your ass and keep going.

Family is always your biggest critic, and you don’t get to choose your family, I wouldn’t change it if I could, but what I would do is make sure we all “die trying”.